That Senior Climb

but it’s the inconsistencies that keep us excited.

you wouldn’t be watching doctor who if not for me

just reminding you.

you’re welcome.

that it legitimately upsets me that we have so little time on this vast planet full of culture, songs, dances, laughter and diverse experiences and there are so many people who would rather sit in one place shouting and judging people who have dissenting opinions over what happens after we leave? Who gives a sod, enjoy what you can now. There’s so much more joy out there than you can find in being close minded following a book. If you like books, we have hundreds of those things in libraries around our planet, some books even older than the ones you hold so sacred, and can take you places you couldn’t believe until you read it. If you like talking your mind to so many people, learn our hundreds of languages that billions of people can speak in. If you like God’s infinite glory so much, see the majestic tapestry like scenery around the world, with landscapes so diverse and beautiful the mind cannot even begin to comprehend it. A life traveled with an open mind brings far more joy than one experienced following one extended hate trip.

In life we come to many moments where we find things out about ourselves. In ourselves we find good things and bad things, as these things are the sum of every human being, our good things and bad things. However, in life, we also find the best things about ourselves. These best things can often be so wonderful that they can dissolve the bad things in your life and make the good things better. The best things in our lives are the things we turn to on the hardest days where we want to give up everything and it prevents us from pulling the trigger.

However, the interesting thing about the best things about yourself? Unlike the good things and bad things about yourself, you aren’t born with them, you never were. It’s absolutely stupid to think that you were. If everybody naturally had the best things about them inside them at all times there would be no need for humanity to exist, for we would all be gods. Perfect.

The best things about us have to be outside forces to create the fundamental conflicts of our lives that make life so beautiful, or else we would overdose on our own flawlessness. Not having the best things within us at all times makes the darkest days beautiful and the brightest days worth remembering. These best things about ourselves are impossible to have at all times but their limited presence is what truly makes them important.

This indefinable paradox of what these best things are made mankind want to make a definition for what it is. However, it was so complicated that we needed to actually create it’s own word to describe this beautiful maddening concept. Do you know how important something needs to be to have it’s own word? It needs to be a big fucking deal. Like, really big. So big and new that it needs to be its own unique idea that needs to be part of our own god damn language due to its magnitude. 

That’s how important these bests things are, that they needed to invent a word to create them. And do you know what the word they invented was? To describe these best things? The word was Friends. I want you to remember that, no matter what, your friends, those people you surround yourself with, the people you want to spend time with and cry with and bake with and not think about anything else except existing with, those people are the best things about yourself. Those things are the best things about anybody. Ever. And I don’t want you to ever forget that. Never forget your friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you read this you’re one of the best things about me.

Also, I think I’m going to try a new writing style where I write a play AROUND a specific monologue. This one will be a good start.

I made it :)

I’m breaking away from that day to day update thing. Because I kind of dropped the ball and shat on it somewhere down the line. I’m only updating when I am going to. and I’ll leave a time stamp. Somebody made a list of things that have been done in 2011, I’ll put up mine I guess. You should all do the same.

Things I’ve done this year:

Gotten a new piercing. 
Dyed my hair.
Ended a relationship.
Started a new relationship.
Been on a long car/bus journey. 
Passed an exam.
Met someone who’s now an important part of my life.
Cried on someone’s shoulder.
Had a massive fight with a boy/girl.
Received flowers. 
Had a Valentine.
Written a letter using pen & paper. 
Gone to see a therapist. 
Been prescribed medication by a doctor.
Read a really good book.
Gone to the zoo.  (The Trinity kind)
Spent too much money on unnecessary things.
Traveled by train. 
Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
Spent the day out in the sun getting a tan. 
Slammed a door out of frustration.
Had an anxiety attack.
Babysat for a friend’s child.
Had a BBQ

Gone to the fair
Gone bowling.
Seen a film at the cinema in 3D.
Gone on a date.
Been the only sober one on a night out. 
Helped someone get home after a night of drinking.

Stayed up all night.
Talked on the phone for over two hours.
Supported someone who’d received bad news.
Watched some kind of live sporting event.

Read a really good book in one day.
Bought a DVD the day it was released.
Eaten McDonald’s more than four times in a single week.
Cried as a result of exam stress.
Met some incredible new people. 
Gone to great parties.
Fallen backwards off a chair.
Broken my glasses.
Worn a watch for the first time in years.
Cried over someone in the past.
Spent hours aimlessly browsing the internet. 
Thrown up.
Cried over a film.
Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-boy/girlfriend. (and sometimes failed)
Fought with someone in public.
Been in a relationship for a year or longer. 
Cried in front of someone I adore.
Lost one of my closest friends.

This year has been heart breaking, I mean wonderful, I mean too long, I mean busy.

Actually, it’s been the best one of my life, and if you’re following, it’s probably because of you.

-12/11/2011

NLH

That is all.
I’ll be back December the 5th

Have you ever gotten that feeling where you’re just empty? 
When you are hungry, you know you need to eat food. Thirsty? Water.
Tired? Go to sleep.

But when you feel empty, you don’t know how to fix it. You just don’t know what to add. Something is missing from your life and you don’t know what it is. Did you lose it? Can you get it back? Does it even know if it’s gone? Does it even want to come back?
You just don’t have it anymore and you’re empty. There isn’t a cure to fix emptyness, until you get that thing back. Sometimes you don’t, and the cure is to just wait.

Also,

Have you ever been in a situation where you want to do something?
To shout out and make yourself present, to try and fix the situation by acknowledging the situation and doing something about it? To maybe, just say hello and try and resolve it through forcing yourself in the situation. You just want to be noticed. But your fear that doing that will make the situation worse prevents you from even doing that. So you sit down, and do nothing. Watching. Watching as they move on and never try to even bother acknowledging your presence as if you were never there and you never met. You just have to let it go, because you’re afraid of fucking things up again, and fucking things up worse.

No, you haven’t felt these things? 
YEAH ME NEITHER HAHAHAHAHAHahaa

See ya on the flip side,

NLH